The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast: Navigating Mom Rage

What is Mom Rage?

Alexis begins by explaining that anger is one of our six primal emotions and often carries a lot of shame and stigma. For many of us, anger is connected to negative childhood experiences and suppressed feelings. She emphasizes how societal expectations and the immense mental load on mothers contribute to this intense emotion.

Moreover, Alexis discusses the modern push for gentle parenting and how it can sometimes lead to moms emptying themselves emotionally without realizing it. The constant need to empathize with children without addressing our own needs creates a "perfect storm" for mom rage.

Addressing Mom Rage: Key Strategies

Self-Forgiveness

One of the crucial strategies Alexis talks about is self-forgiveness. Moms often hold onto shame and guilt after an outburst, which can perpetuate the cycle of anger. She shares a four-step process she uses with her clients to forgive themselves before they attempt to repair their relationship with their child. This self-forgiveness helps in authentically connecting with their children and prevents the burden of emotional responsibility from falling on the child.

Noticing Your Body

Another pivotal strategy is being aware of your body's signals. Alexis explains that our bodies are the first indicators of stress and frustration. Learning to notice physical cues like clenching your jaw or tensing your muscles can help you recognize when you’re getting triggered. This awareness allows you to take proactive steps to manage your emotions before they escalate.

Meeting Basic Needs

Michelle and Alexis discuss the importance of meeting basic needs like sleep and nutrition. Often, moms are so focused on their children that they neglect their own well-being, which only exacerbates frustration and anger. By attending to these needs, mothers can increase their capacity for patience and empathy.

Individualizing Parenting Approaches

Michelle shares her experience with her neurodiverse children and how important it has been to individualize her parenting approach. Comparing one child to another can be harmful and ineffective, as each child has unique needs and triggers. Alexis agrees, highlighting the importance of tailoring parenting strategies to fit the child’s individual requirements.

Next Steps You Can Take

To wrap up, Michelle and Alexis emphasize that experiencing mom rage does not make you a bad mother. It signifies the need for support and understanding. Both Michelle and Alexis recommend reaching out to a parent coach if you’re struggling with these intense emotions. The right support can make a world of difference in helping you become the mom you want to be.

Alexis shares her contact details, inviting listeners to follow her on Instagram at @thrivingparentcoach and to visit her website, www.thrivingparenthood.com, for more information and support.