The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast: Choosing To Have The Right Relationship With Your Husband
The Secret to a Stronger Marriage: Choose Connection Over Being Right
It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be right in our relationships, especially in marriage. After all, proving our point can feel so satisfying in the moment. But, as I've come to learn as a marriage coach, the real prize isn't in winning an argument – it's in nurturing a loving, connected relationship. In this quick read, let's explore how shifting from seeking victory to prioritizing partnership can transform your marriage.
You Can Be Right or You Can Have the Right Relationship
One of the biggest realizations I've had is this: in any conflict, you can either be right or have the right relationship. This doesn't mean you should become a doormat or always be wrong. It's about recognizing that in marriage, feeling connected and understood outweighs the temporary thrill of being right. It's the emotional intimacy that builds a strong couple, not the moments when one stands victorious while the other feels defeated.
Letting Go of Pride and Embracing Connection
Human nature often drives us to be right, but this desire, although normal, can cost us our marital connection. Ask yourself, is it worth chipping away at the bond with your partner for the sake of pride? Whether it's about how to load the dishwasher or how to parent, sometimes we need to decide between insisting on our way or collaborating with our spouse. Consider differentiating between mere roommate problems and true marriage issues.
The Power of Acceptance and Freedom
One perspective shift that's helped me is allowing room for my partner's individuality. Accept that your ways might not be the only effective ways. Yes, it might take someone else longer or their methods might differ, but if the job is getting done and you aren't doing it, why not focus on gratitude? When we step back and accept our partner's methods, we allow both individuality and partnership to flourish.
Collaboration Rules Over Competition
Marriage is not a competition; it's a collaboration. When we fight for connection over victory, we prioritize empathy and understanding. Approach disagreements with your spouse in mind, valuing collaboration. When both partners feel supported and understood, intimacy – both emotional and physical – thrives.
Practical Steps for Transformation
1. Express Gratitude: Acknowledge and appreciate your partner's efforts, even if they don't align with your preferences.
2. Walk Away from Criticism: Physically remove yourself if you find yourself wanting to control how they're doing things.
3. Communicate Collaboratively: Instead of positioning disagreements as battles to win, discuss them as opportunities to learn and grow together.
4. Think Long-Term: Consider the long-term impact of prioritizing pride over partnership.
Winning Together
Marriage is a journey that should be undertaken as a team. Focus on winning together by nurturing a partnership filled with empathy, understanding, and support. The benefits ripple into every aspect of your relationship. So next time you're tempted to dig your heels in to be right, ask yourself what you truly want for your relationship. Let this mindset shift improve not just your marriage, but all your connections.
If you found this perspective helpful, I invite you to share it with someone who might benefit from a new approach to marital happiness. And if you're loving this conversation, leaving a rating and review would mean the world to me. Until next time, let's keep building those connections.