The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast: Culture, Generational Trauma, Mental Health and Motherhood - Growing Up Asian American
Navigating Parenthood: Healing Generational Trauma and Bridging Cultural Gaps
Parenting is no easy feat, and when intertwined with the intricacies of cultural heritage and generational trauma, it becomes even more complex. In this episode I am joined by Peggy Chen, a licensed clinical social worker and certified perinatal mental health therapist. Together, we dive deep into the nuances of Asian American experiences in motherhood and marriage, highlighting how cultural backgrounds shape our parenting styles, marriages, and personal growth.
Understanding Cultural Influences and Generational Trauma
Being raised in Asian American households influenced our approach to emotions and mental health. Growing up, emotions were often not acknowledged, and cultural norms shaped how parents showed affection. This absence of emotional dialogue in their childhoods prompted both of us to strive for change in how we parent our children. Feelings of responsibility for our parents' emotions is a common experience among children of immigrants, which often leads to the development of codependent tendencies.
Embracing Change: The Journey of Reparenting
The concept of reparenting is a vital theme discussed. It's about recognizing the ingrained habits from our upbringing and making a conscious effort to break these cycles for the betterment of our children and ourselves. Self-awareness and intentionality in parenting it essential. By focusing on healing our inner child and working towards a healthier parent-child dynamic, as well as repair work, it's never too late to start this healing journey.
Balancing Tradition with Modern Affection
One major challenge is the transition from culturally ingrained methods of showing care—like acts of service—to more verbally and physically expressive methods that are more prevalent in American culture. For many, including us, finding a middle ground where cultural heritage and modern parenting practices coexist harmoniously is essential. Understanding each family member's love language becomes crucial, whether it's through words of affirmation, physical touch, or acts of service.
Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in Children
It is so important to allow children to express emotions freely, without labeling them as good or bad. This approach contrasts sharply with the way they were raised, where emotions were often suppressed or ignored. By fostering open communication and validating their children's feelings, they aim to empower the next generation with better emotional intelligence and mental resilience.
Moving Forward: Repair and Reflection
The episode underscored the significance of repair in relationships, especially with children. Acknowledging that mistakes are inevitable, we advocate for an approach where repair, rather than perfection, becomes the focal point. It's never too late to make amends and apologizing to our children and partners is a powerful step in building stronger, healthier relationships.
By examining how cultural influences, generational patterns, and personal growth intersect, Michelle and Peggy's conversation provides an insightful perspective on parenting. Their shared experiences offer relatable and actionable steps for those striving to nurture a compassionate and understanding family environment while honoring their cultural identity.
We encourage you to reflect on your personal parenting journeys and consider how cultural influences have shaped you. This episode is a call to embrace the challenging yet rewarding path of healing and reparenting for a more intentional and connected family life.
For more insights and to follow along with Peggy's journey, listeners can tune into the Healing the Tigress podcast, which delves into mental health topics, especially within the context of Asian American motherhood and parenthood.
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Feel free to engage with Michelle and Peggy by sharing your thoughts on this discussion. Whether you find yourself on a similar cultural journey or are exploring how to bridge generational gaps in your family, your story matters. Reach out to let them know what resonated with you.