The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast - Signs Communication In Your Marriage Is Improving (And When To Get Help)
How to Know if Your Communication is Improving in Marriage (and When to Get Help)
Let’s talk about something most of us aren’t naturally taught: healthy communication. Unless your parents modeled it, or you sought out resources, communication skills are often learned through trial and error. But here’s the good news—improving your communication doesn’t have to feel overwhelming, and it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress.
In this episode, I’ll guide you through recognizing signs of improvement in your communication with your spouse and knowing when it’s time to seek outside help to take things to the next level.
Why Communication Feels So Hard
For many of us, communication struggles are a learned pattern. Growing up, we absorb how our family handles conflict—whether it’s yelling, avoiding tough topics, or shutting down. Without a strong foundation, you end up figuring things out on your own. That’s where most couples get stuck.
If you find yourself having the same arguments over and over again—or worse, noticing that these arguments mirror ones you’ve had in past relationships—it’s worth pausing to reflect. Often, we focus on the behavior of others when, in reality, the common denominator is us.
Healthy communication is a skill, not an innate personality trait. And like any skill, it takes practice and the right tools to improve.
Signs That Your Communication Is Improving
If you’ve been working on your communication, here are some markers that you’re heading in the right direction:
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Fewer Misunderstandings
You’re noticing less confusion or misinterpretation in conversations. Both of you are understanding each other more clearly. -
Faster Resolutions
Disagreements don’t drag on endlessly. You’re finding solutions and moving forward more quickly than before. -
Kinder Tone and Language
The way you speak to each other—especially during tough conversations—feels more respectful and calm. There’s less yelling, name-calling, or sarcasm. -
Openness and Vulnerability
You both feel safer sharing your thoughts and emotions. Conversations include deeper topics, and there’s a willingness to be honest—even about hard truths. -
Progress in Emotional Responses
Maybe someone in the relationship takes longer to get upset or is quicker to bring up what’s bothering them before it becomes a bigger issue. These small shifts matter. -
Conflict That Feels Productive
Arguments don’t spiral into shouting matches or days of silent treatment. Instead, you’re able to talk through disagreements, even if it’s messy at first.
These milestones might feel small, but they’re significant. Improving communication is less about stopping all arguments entirely and more about navigating them effectively and with kindness.
Why You Might Need Help
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, it feels like progress isn’t happening—or worse, things seem to be getting harder. That’s when it might be time to reach out for help.
Think of it like this: If your health was struggling, you’d see a doctor. If something broke in your house, you’d call a professional. Marriage is no different. A marriage coach can:
- Help you identify the areas where communication is breaking down.
- Teach you specific skills tailored to your needs.
- Provide tools and accountability to speed up your progress.
Coaching creates a shortcut. Instead of years of trial and error, you get actionable steps that fit your unique situation.
Real-Life Examples of Progress
To illustrate this, let me share a couple of examples. My son recently started playing basketball for the first time. His team lost their first game 28-0. It was hard to watch, but I noticed something encouraging: in the second half, their defense improved. By the next game, they scored points and played competitively. Why? Because their coach adjusted their strategy and gave them drills to focus on specific skills.
Similarly, I recently started learning tennis. At first, I couldn’t hit the ball properly, but working with a coach helped me refine my technique. Over time, things started to “click,” and now I can hold my own in matches.
The same principle applies to communication. With guidance and practice, those early struggles become stepping stones toward confidence and ease.
The Power of Celebrating Small Wins
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is expecting change to happen overnight. Instead, focus on celebrating the small wins:
- Did you handle a disagreement better than last time?
- Are you noticing fewer hurtful words being exchanged?
- Did a tough conversation lead to connection instead of frustration?
These moments are proof that you’re growing.
Your Next Step
If you’re seeing progress—amazing! Keep going. But if conflict feels the same every time or seems to be getting worse, don’t wait. There’s no shame in asking for help. A coach can give you the tools and perspective you need to create lasting change.
Healthy communication is the foundation of a strong, happy marriage. With the right guidance, you can master the skills that lead to deeper connection, less conflict, and more joy in your relationship.
So, if you’re ready to take that next step, reach out to me. I’d love to help you create the marriage you’ve always wanted.
Remember: communication doesn’t have to be hard. It can be a conversation, not a confrontation—and with practice, it can even become your greatest strength.
Book a call with me today to get started!