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Mastering Communication in Marriage: Understanding the Difference Between Emotions and Feelings

Introduction

In marriage, effective communication is often referred to as the key to successful relationships. Without effective communication, marriage challenges feel impossible to work through and what I wish I had learned earlier on was that emotions and feelings are not the same thing. Knowing the difference between the two can play a pivotal role in reshaping the way we approach and address communication breakdowns with our partners.

Emotions vs Feelings

The terms "emotions" and "feelings" are frequently used interchangeably in society. However, understanding that they are not the same is a game changer. Emotions are the immediate physical responses we experience in reaction to what's going on around us. We experience them as bodily sensations, such as a racing heart,...

Do you ever wonder if your BIG emotions are causing a lot of issues in your marriage?

Have you been told that you’re too sensitive, over-reacting, too much, or a personal fave… that you’re crazy?

Emotions can be so easily misunderstood, including yourself.

In this week's episode of The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast, I shared:

• What emotions are
• What purpose emotions serve
• How emotions impact relationships 

Listen here and remember to subscribe, leave a review, and share it if you loved this episode! 

For more resources on how to have a happy and successful marriage, head on over to www.michellepurta.com and subscribe!

Have you noticed you and your husband argue a lot more ever since you became parents?

What used to be fun and light, now feels heavy and hard.

Most people grow up believing that anger is something to avoid feeling because it's bad and that we should be happy instead.

Perhaps you've viewed anger as a toxic emotion that has no place in a healthy marriage.

In this week's episode of The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast, I shared:

• Whether anger is toxic for your marriage
• What anger can drive you to do
• Where couples go wrong with anger

Listen here and remember to subscribe, leave a review, and share it if you loved this episode! 

For more resources on how to have a happy and successful marriage, head on over to www.michellepurta.com and subscribe!

Conflict is actually good for your marriage.

I think a lot of you will probably agree with me on this, in that Disney movies, and all those fairy tales really ruined us in terms of how we define a happy marriage. Growing up, all the way up until probably the last five, or six years. My idea of a happy marriage did not involve conflict. It didn't involve arguments. I thought that if you argued that meant that your relationship was not healthy. Lo and behold, in my experience of conflict in my marriage earlier on and in my past relationships, there were a lot of conflicts. Anytime I got upset or annoyed or something didn't meet my needs, or I felt disappointed in some sense. There was conflict. That led to a lot of different beliefs from me, in my head, my lovely mind. It created a lot of drama for me. Beliefs, like, “Oh, I'll never find someone who fully gets me.” It was just a lot of back and forth a lot of conflicting beliefs around a conflict in...

Who is responsible for your happiness?

I don't know about you, but I thought whoever I was dating was responsible for my happiness. In fact, I used to pride myself in being this super chill, low-maintenance kind of girlfriend or partner, and when anniversaries roll around, or any kind of thing to celebrate, Valentine's day anniversary, birthdays, you name it, I would get upset. I would get upset for not having my expectations met. Expectations that I never shared, by the way, because I wanted to be this other version of a person. That was not true to who I was and what I wanted. I, for some reason, would judge people who needed this. Something that shows that that person was a big deal. I thought that if I wasn't like that, I was better, but I wasn't being honest with myself. 

I would get upset because they wouldn't do anything. Or they would just, get me a card, and then we go out to dinner. I would have this inner conflict inside, where I'm like, “Well, I'm...

How is your marriage impacted by how you deal with emotions. 

How you deal with your emotions has such a huge impact, and for something that affects so much of your life, how you deal with your family, how you deal with your friends, work stuff, community, strangers, you interact with your marriage, and your kids. It's really surprising why we're not taught this in schools, why is that not a requirement? For students? Why are we not taught emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, and effective communication? Can you imagine if, if we grew up learning that not just from experience, but actually learning it? Can you imagine how much drama we could have avoided or prevented in our lives? From recess, and quarrels, to relationship challenges, that would fix a lot of drama in our lives. On the marriage front, imagine all the times you would have spent connecting instead of feeling disconnected and distraught. If I could go back in time, I wish that I would have...