This blog post was inspired by a post that I made inside of my Facebook group, if you're not in there already go in there. It's called Marriage & Motherhood. In that post, I asked the ladies, what are you craving most in your marriage right now? About 80% of them said quality time. I want to dive into that a little bit about why that tends to be the most common answer other than better communication when it comes to your marriage after having kids. 

When we have kids, not only do we birth a child, we as women go through a huge transformation.

We become mothers the second that we're pregnant, we care about the baby, and their well-being and do all the things that we need to do to make sure that they’re healthy. After they’re born, you now have tunnel vision, all you can do is focus on how to support this baby developmentally, physically, feeding them, changing their diapers, and mentally stimulating them. In the process, we put our marriage on the back...

How present you are has a large impact on your life and your marriage

Before I started working on myself, it was really hard to be present. Now, I’m able to be in the moment and soak up everything that is there to experience. Even for something as simple as going on a walk and noticing how green the leaves are, noticing how the sun feels on your skin, how the wind feels, the flowers that you walk past, and just being there. Not just focusing on your destination and just walking.

When you’re not present with your partner, you're on your phone or maybe you're checked out and you're not really with them at that moment. Same with your kids, you may be sitting with them and they're playing, but you’re somewhere else. Your body is there, but your mind and your energy are not there. That's how I know when I'm not present. When I feel like I'm in a hurry all the time. I'm irritable, focusing on productivity. What's on my to-do list?

What I noticed is that when...

We're gonna be talking about how self-care really impacts your marriage. 

Every single relationship if I'm being honest. If you don't know, I help unhappy moms who feel lost in their marriage to be happy again, and a lot of times, we get to that place of feeling lost, because we're no longer getting our needs met anymore. If you have that go-to coping mechanism of stepping into a victim mentality, you might ask yourself, why aren't they giving me what I need anymore? Why did they stop? What happened here? And what we really should be asking? On top of that question is, what have I done? To get us here? Not from a place of blame, but from a place of awareness? What part did I play? To get us to where we are right now? Because it takes both of you to get there. 

We tend to feel lost in our marriage. 

Because our partner stopped doing something, and why did they stop doing that thing, because we stopped being the person that they married. Right? We are all...