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Mastering Communication in Marriage: Understanding the Difference Between Emotions and Feelings

Introduction

In marriage, effective communication is often referred to as the key to successful relationships. Without effective communication, marriage challenges feel impossible to work through and what I wish I had learned earlier on was that emotions and feelings are not the same thing. Knowing the difference between the two can play a pivotal role in reshaping the way we approach and address communication breakdowns with our partners.

Emotions vs Feelings

The terms "emotions" and "feelings" are frequently used interchangeably in society. However, understanding that they are not the same is a game changer. Emotions are the immediate physical responses we experience in reaction to what's going on around us. We experience them as bodily sensations, such as a racing heart,...

How present you are has a large impact on your life and your marriage

Before I started working on myself, it was really hard to be present. Now, I’m able to be in the moment and soak up everything that is there to experience. Even for something as simple as going on a walk and noticing how green the leaves are, noticing how the sun feels on your skin, how the wind feels, the flowers that you walk past, and just being there. Not just focusing on your destination and just walking.

When you’re not present with your partner, you're on your phone or maybe you're checked out and you're not really with them at that moment. Same with your kids, you may be sitting with them and they're playing, but you’re somewhere else. Your body is there, but your mind and your energy are not there. That's how I know when I'm not present. When I feel like I'm in a hurry all the time. I'm irritable, focusing on productivity. What's on my to-do list?

What I noticed is that when...

How is your marriage impacted by how you deal with emotions. 

How you deal with your emotions has such a huge impact, and for something that affects so much of your life, how you deal with your family, how you deal with your friends, work stuff, community, strangers, you interact with your marriage, and your kids. It's really surprising why we're not taught this in schools, why is that not a requirement? For students? Why are we not taught emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, and effective communication? Can you imagine if, if we grew up learning that not just from experience, but actually learning it? Can you imagine how much drama we could have avoided or prevented in our lives? From recess, and quarrels, to relationship challenges, that would fix a lot of drama in our lives. On the marriage front, imagine all the times you would have spent connecting instead of feeling disconnected and distraught. If I could go back in time, I wish that I would have...