Understanding Boundaries Versus Ultimatums: Strengthening Relationships Through Respect and Communication

Welcome back to another episode, in this episode I got to dive deep into the complexities of boundaries versus ultimatums in relationships with fellow marriage coach, Nevart Willborn. Together, we explored how these concepts can either strengthen or damage a marriage depending on the implementation.

What Are Boundaries and Ultimatums?

We first kicked off the discussion with the definitions and nuances of boundaries and ultimatums. A boundary is essentially a way to teach others how to treat us by expressing our needs and limits. A boundary is about helping others understand what we need and implementing a healthy response when those needs are not met.

On the other hand, an ultimatum often comes across as a final demand or a non-negotiable condition. Nevart highlights the key difference: "An ultimatum is rooted in control. It's a statement where...

Is Love Enough to Sustain a Marriage After Kids?

Welcome back to another episode of the Marriage and Motherhood Podcast! In this episode, we explore whether love is enough to keep a marriage strong after kids.

The Shift: From Partners to Parents

When love leads to marriage, it often stems from the deep affection couples have for each other. But once you become parents, life changes drastically. You now face new responsibilities, time constraints, and a significant shift in your relationship dynamics. The priorities shift from each other to the children, leading many to wonder, "Where does our relationship go from here?"

Unspoken Assumptions and Overlooked Needs

It's easy to fall into the trap of assuming love will conquer all challenges. However, once kids enter the picture, love often turns implied rather than demonstrated. The acts of love shift to task-based activities: feeding the kids, handling household chores, and managing schedules. While love fuels these...

In this episode, I have an honest conversation with fellow marriage coach, Nevart Willborn, about boundaries.

Understanding Boundaries in Relationships

Boundaries are fundamental to maintaining a healthy relationship. They’re not about controlling the other person but about setting limits for yourself to protect your emotional and mental well-being.

For me, a boundary is something that helps you actually strengthen and be in a relationship with someone. Boundaries are not about telling someone else what they should do but about informing them what you will do if a certain line is crossed.

Common Misconceptions About Boundaries

A common misconception is that boundaries are a form of control over others. This misunderstanding can lead to a dynamic where one person tries to change the other’s behavior instead of focusing on their own actions. When you set a boundary, it's about what you're going to do, not about making someone else do something.

Examples of...

Welcome back to another episode of The Marriage and Motherhood Podcast. This topic was inspired by a post I stumbled on in a Facebook group. A woman was asking if sleeping in separate rooms would hurt the marriage. 

Rest or Romance?

A woman in the group shared her problem: she and her husband have trouble sleeping together due to conflicting sleep habits. From taking up too much space to noisy disturbances. Although they have a fantastic relationship outside the bedroom, the poor sleep quality was leading to resentment.

Her main concern? Social norms. The idea of sleeping in separate rooms seemed drastic, and she wondered if it would drive them toward divorce.

Challenging Social Norms

If you’ve been following along with my content, you know that I’m an advocate for challenging social norms. Every marriage is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another. The concept of following societal expectations blindly can often hinder...

Welcome back to another episode of the Marriage and Motherhood podcast. In this episode, we're diving into how marriage evolves after you become parents. This topic is relevant to both new and seasoned parents, offering insights and practical advice to help you navigate the changes that parenthood brings to your relationship.

The Changing Dynamics of Partnership

Partnership Before Parenthood

Before you have kids, partnership primarily revolves around mutual decision-making, consultation on important matters, and offering each other support. These principles still hold post-parenthood but on a much different scale. Before kids, it's simpler: Do we make decisions together? Do you consult with me on big matters? Are you helpful to me? Do I feel like we're a team?

The Shift Post-Parenthood

After kids, the specificity of roles becomes more critical. Our expectations for our partners drastically increase. The granular details—like "Who's going to do what?" need...

7 Key Lessons Learned from Our Cross-Country Move and Major Life Changes

After a recent cross-country move from California to Atlanta and a myriad of changes, I'm excited to share the lessons my husband and I have learned.

Whether you're grappling with big decisions or navigating the complexities of family life, these insights could make all the difference. Let's dive in!

1. Keep Each Other in the Loop

Communicating effectively is fundamental. During our move, my husband and I realized that failing to stay updated on each other’s schedules and plans led to a lot of miscommunication. Establishing a routine check-in, whether nightly or weekly, ensures that both partners are aligned and reduces unnecessary friction. One great tool we've found helpful is the Skylight calendar, which integrates with Google Calendar and keeps us organized and on the same page.

2. Discuss Your Goals

Aligning on goals helps you work together rather than at cross-purposes. Take the time to discuss...

If you love the episode, remember to subscribe, leave a review and share it!

If you love the episode, remember to subscribe, leave a review and share it!

Parenting and Partnership: A Fresh Start For Your Marriage

Is your marriage feeling the impact of the challenges that come with parenthood?

Parenthood doesn't have to mean the end of your love story. Parenthood is just the start of a new chapter in your marriage. Your marriage can have that spark even while you're raising kids.

Don't let yourself get jaded or believe that marriage has to be hard after you become parents. You can learn how to balance love and parenting and make your marriage even better than you imagined. Parenthood was never meant to come between you and your love.

While society may lay out a traditional roadmap for us — education, career, serious relationship, marriage, and family — the reality is that marriage is not a finite goal. It's a journey of growth, evolving with time.

The Excitement of Beginnings:

From the early days of envisioning a life together to the...

After becoming parents, couples begin to face a lot of challenges around being able to resolve conflict together as a team and ending fights.

They struggle with communicating and the arguments seem neverending because they don't know how to do it successfully and productively, and just end up sweeping it under the rug and then move on with life because there's always some chore to be done or a kid to help.

And then unsurprisingly, the same issue comes back up. So marriage feels more like being in between fights rather than something more positive and enjoyable.

Conflict is meant to be an opportunity to connect and grow with each other and deepen the intimacy you have with each other and strengthen your relationship, but that can't happen unless you have the skills to know how to resolve conflict in a healthier way.

In this week's episode of The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast, I share:

• 3 myths about conflict and the actual truth
• why conflict...

Have you ever thought about how self care impacts how you experience conflict?

Most couples believe that the difference between arguments that end quickly and those that don't depend on the specific issue.

The truth is that we have more control over the likelihood of successful conflict resolution than we give ourselves credit for.

The way we communicate and react to conflict has everything to do with self care.

In this week's episode of The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast, I share:

• what it means if communication feels hard with your partner
• the negative impact the lack of self care has on communication with your husband and kids
• how self care positive affects communication

Listen here and remember to subscribe, leave a review, and share it if you loved this episode!